


on your way, move out of the grey

by littlelooneyluna



Category: robron
Genre: Abuse Era, Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, Missing Scenes, the night where aaron stayed around robert’s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 00:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17971271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: aaron has a couple of beers and stays round robert’s on the sofa





	on your way, move out of the grey

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired because it’s been three whole years since Robert told Chas that Aaron stayed on the sofa, and we all died.

He sits with his legs crossed, the beer in his hand has suddenly reached his head and he’s a little buzzed over but he doesn’t dare to say he is. He stays really still as he watches his sister and Adam thump up the stairs.

He should be going up too but he doesn’t want to, instead he wants to stay exactly where he is because Aaron’s here. Aaron. He turns slowly and sees the younger man slumped against the sofa with this soft sort of smile on his face. It’s clear that he’s had a good night then. He didn’t expect to find him in his living room, eating pizza and drinking beer and smiling. 

But it was almost everything he wanted.

There’s a gentleness about his face, head tilted up towards the ceiling and clouded by the light of the moon drifting in from the parted curtains. He looks at peace.

It doesn’t do any good for the guilt building in Robert’s heart, Ryan’s stupid face staring at him and telling him that he’s done wrong. It travels through him until Aaron turns and smiles at him.

It gets to be this amazingly rewarding thing. It gets Robert’s heart thumping around like mad and he doesn’t know how to stop it. He just has to wait and think about the last time Aaron actually smiled at him.

Months and months ago. Before the darkness took over, before Robert was laying lifeless in the Woolpack carpark, before Aaron was bleeding, tied to a radiator.

“You look happy.” Robert whispers, and maybe it over steps the mark, because Aaron’s face twitches like he’s a little unable to truly think about it. He just looks at Robert, watches him stretch out his long gangly legs across the table.

He sees the apprehension on his face. He doesn’t want it there.

Aaron nods his head gently. “A little.” He whispers back, he holds a can in his hand and sips at it a little before gulping hard. 

“You deserve to be. After everything, you deserve to be ...”

“How are you then?” Aaron blurts out, his eyes search over Robert’s face and Robert almost freezes around the question. “I never ask you.”

He realises that so suddenly, and Robert knows that Aaron is probably the least selfish person he knows. He doesn’t want him thinking that he’s a terrible person for not sparing a thought for him when he’s going through so much pain. 

“It’s not about me.”

Aaron frowns slightly. “I’m allowed to care too.” He says indignantly. Robert just keeps looking at him as if he doesn’t actually believe this is happening and it’s because he _can’t_. They haven’t been able to do this, just chat.

Robert’s missed it more than anything else.

Robert bends his head down onto the sofa, folds his hands over and sighs as he looks at Aaron. “Getting by.” He says. “Worrying.” He starts playing with his hands until Aaron stops him, moves a hand over his and delicately strokes his thumb for a second.

“You really care?” Only it’s not really a question at all. “You care too.”

Too.

As in, just like I do. He doesn’t say that, because he can’t, because amongst everything between them there’s never going to be the right time to tell Robert how he feels.

They’ve stood in darkness, faces hidden as they confess that they’ll give it a go when all of this is over. That’s happened, it still doesn’t feel real in the middle of this now though does it?

Robert gulps hard, watches Aaron’s finger move away slightly like he’s afraid. He gets that, he understands the gravity of what this all means. He understands that it must be terrifying, because _they’re_ terrifying and they have never tried to just _be_. 

“I care ... you know how I feel.” Robert says, eyes flickering as he watches Aaron’s gaze fall away from him finally. He lets go, breathes in and then out again and then wipes at his face.

“I should get going.” Aaron goes to stand, and Robert looks up towards him. He sees something in his eyes, a reluctance to leave that only reminds him of when they were having an affair and they never wanted to have to go back to reality.

“You can stay.” Robert blurts out, maybe without even thinking but he doesn’t regret it. He sees the way Aaron slowly sits back down again, look anxious as Robert gets a blanket out from one of the cupboard drawers. “I’ll take the sofa, you can have my bed.”

Aaron’s not been up there before, he imagines it, he’s imagined it in the past hasn’t he? He doesn’t think he could lay there alone, smothered by Robert but not really smothered by him at all. No body to cling to like he wants to.

Deep down, maybe he’ll always want this. It’s terrifying to come to terms with, the fact that there’s only one person you want to sleep next to at night. It makes you question everything but Aaron’s been through that, he’s understood that feeling and realised that it’s true.

“I don’t want your bed.” Aaron says, he has the blanket over his shoulders and he feels his head turn a little fuzzy so he places the half empty can on the table and looks at Robert’s face. He looks confused, stunned even.

“Well okay, how about you lay here and then I’ll ...”

He leans forward as Aaron stretches out a little and pinches the blanket across the older man. Aaron is hit by a memory, a crushing weight of one which doesn’t seem to let him breathe.

Robert staying, Robert hanging over him and staying until he slipped into a deep sleep where _he_ couldn’t find him. He remembers the feel of a hand through his sweaty hair, a shuddering breath, maybe Robert cried over him for a second or two when he thought he was asleep. He remembers a hand dancing near his too, shaky, unsure hands.

He remembers and remembers and remembers and he knows, he knows exactly how he’s always going to feel about him.

“I’ll sleep upstairs.” Robert says, he turns and gets towards the door before he can hear a small sound. It’s croaky, barely present in the room but it makes him turn.

“I said ... stay.” Aaron whispers, he has a small smile on his face, but it’s covered by his nervousness, the way his cheeks are reddening and his hoodie dips across his shoulder awkwardly. “It’s not ... don’t want to be on my own now.”

Because he’s lost count of the times he’s pushed Robert away.

Robert comes back towards him, moving slowly because he doesn’t want to rush a single thing.

“You don’t have to if you don’t ... I’m hardly fun at the moment am I? Just don’t want to be alone.”

“You’re not alone.” Robert says immediately, a frown forming as he looks at Aaron and sees the younger man nod. He slowly peels off his leather jacket, watches Aaron kick his shoes off and then he stares at the sofa.

It’s hardly massive, it’s not built for two adult men to sleep on but it works. Robert lays down and Aaron tucks in next to him, Robert has his legs over Aaron’s and he’s holding onto him tightly and it’s the most they’ve touched for so long.

It makes Robert tingle.

Aaron looks up, and buts Robert’s chin. “Shit sorry.” He says quickly, but Robert laughs, he just laughs and Aaron finds himself doing the exactly the same thing. He finds himself actually laughing, just as he was doing a few hours ago. Only it’s just him and Robert now.

It’s maybe a little subconscious, the way he holds a hand across Robert’s chest. As soon as he does it, he feels the drumming of Robert’s heart beat, the way it rises at his touch.

He could kiss him but he doesn’t, instead he lets Robert bend down and kiss his hair slowly. It should be awkward, but it isn’t. Instead they talk for what feels like hours about things other than court cases and jealously and little sisters.

It doesn’t hurt to reminisce, it makes them feel alive. Like there’s something out there, a hope which hasn’t been completely crushed by the weight of this time in their lives. The way it has seemed to cloud over pretty much everything else.

Apart from this, the both of them swapping stories they’ve already heard and laughing at them all over again. 

“— think that was the only time in my life I was kind.” Robert’s rubbing at his eyes and shaking his head like it’s funny but Aaron sobers against the end of the story.

“You are kind.”

“Yeah right.”

“You can be.” Aaron bites his lip.

“You of all people should know ...” Robert stops himself, feels something get tight in his chest and he chooses to stop speaking. Aaron nods a little though, seems unfazed.

“Exactly.” Aaron whispers, and Robert is overwhelmed by the thought of Aaron having memories of him which aren’t tainted by the sadness of how they ended and everything that followed. It makes him smile a little and it settles something in his chest completely.

Robert blinks a little and then moves the blanket up towards them further, he sights the time on his watch and sighs. “We should get some sleep.” He whispers, gentle as he speaks.

Aaron still sometimes is shocked by just how gentle he can be. He shuffles further towards him, his head finding the crook under Robert’s arm.

Robert can only think about him wanting to be closer to him.

He closes his eyes around it, breathes out and then feels Aaron’s hand settled on top of Robert’s. He doesn’t hold onto it, just hovers, but it’s enough.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
